Whinese

 

Let’s talk about languages.  The language Whinese specifically.  If you’re a parent, you’ve no doubt encountered this language, used mostly by children.. but a few adults have been known to use it as well. It’s a most annoying language, and virtually un translatable. 

Whinese has been banned from this household.  All requests and/or complaints submitted using the language Whinese will henceforth be ignored.  Furthermore, continued use of the language Whinese may result in dire consequences, depending on the mood of the household leaders (ie Mom and Dad).  

In other words, JASON, when you get your pants out of the dryer and insist that these are NOT the pants you were wearing yesterday.. even though the stain you got on the knee is still there because it won’t come out.. Do not use the language Whinese to profess your contempt for your pants that shrunk a bit in the dryer.  Like they always do.  If you will but put them on and wear them for 10 minutes.. they will indeed stretch back out. Like they always do. 

Whinese is not an acceptable language to use when looking for your jacket, either, JUSTIN. In fact, I would venture to say that there is NEVER an appropriate time to use the language Whinese.  It’s time to put our big boy pants on and act like the almost 13 year old young man that you are. 

And last but certainly not least.  HEATHER AND HANNAH, Whinese is not the language to use when telling me that Sissy took the shirt you laid out for yourself to wear this morning.  Your version of Whinese, mixed with some Twin Talk, is most unusual and I admit, I can not translate it or decode it. 

To avoid further confusion, the only acceptable languages in this house are: American English, The Queens English.. and even a smattering of French and Spanish will be accepted.  But Whinese will no longer be tolerated whatsoever.  Thank you and have a lovely day back at school.